Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
