we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
