That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
