i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
