shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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