we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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