I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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