it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize