I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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