i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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