My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
