I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
