I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
