never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
