entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
