I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
