Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
