I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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