"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
