Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
