I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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