i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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