Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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