Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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