Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
