Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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