Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need to calm my uterus...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
