I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
