I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
