my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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