i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I want her autograph on my taint
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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