Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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