Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
