Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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