If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
