Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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