i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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