she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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