dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize