i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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