Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
