so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
