I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
