I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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