you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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