butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
