and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
