So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
