It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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