I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
