Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
