When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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