Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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