Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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