whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
please don't ironically join a cult
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