No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
