WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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