Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
