O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
