Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
